I was recently at a dinner party where my friends were introduced to my new partner. They were all talking about authors and books, most of which I was not familiar with. At the end I had the thoughts that my partner fits in better with my friends that I do, I said something like this to my friends, commenting on them all being well read. One friend made a comment that it’s the same for her, look at how amazing her partner is compared to her (I don’t agree with her assessment, but that’s separate). At any rate, I took it to mean that she thought I was putting myself down for not being as well read, and I wasn’t placing a value judgement on this, just a difference. However I’m now having the thought that she is placing a value judgement on it, that she thinks it’s better to be well read.

At the moment I have no plans to read more of any of these novels as I’m parenting two small children and starting a business. I’m happy and fine with my knowledge as long as it doesn’t cause me to be excluded or be looked down on (however I’m wondering as I write this if these are things I cannot control, and therefore neutral circumstances??). Anyway, I think my friend was trying to comfort me and I wasn’t thinking I needed comfort and not thinking I needed to be looked down on – but now I feel uncomfortable about it. Any help with this?