I’ve come up with my 10 most important boundaries in my relationship with my mom whom I work for and also have a very challenging relationship where I don’t always show up as my best self.
My boundaries appear to be action line items to do but I want to make sure the feeling that would drive me to keep my own boundary will keep me motivated to have my own back.
How do you not forget your own boundaries?
What are some thoughts that I can affirm to help me prepare for each encounter with her?
Will the boundaries below give me the right results? A more healthy relationship? Less drama in the relationship?
Can you give me feedback on the boundaries? I am trying not to change her or impose things on her but focus on me changing.
My Bible of commandments with mom (boundaries of myself)
1. I will not give my opinion on any matters that she ask me. Will paraphrase, Turn the question into a question
2. I will not depend on her in more than one way: work, home, transportation
3. I will not do for her what she can do for herself
4. I will not fall into her manipulations by taking time to make her decisions
5. I will not trust or share compromising information
6. I will not be around her when she is stressed so she can take her anger on me. Take my space.
7. I will not pick up phone calls or visits or take care of her before my self care time in the mornings or out of my way
8. I will not let her underutilize me at work: Will train myself. Keep growing.
9. I will not ever lend her money or put her debt under my name.
10. I will avoid certain topics with her: politics, religion, dating and men, the family