Shame and hiding is costing me

I’ve gained 10 pounds and my face is chubbier.
I’ve been trying to drop this 10 pounds for over a year.
The wanting to have my slimmer face back is keeping me from marketing my coaching business.

I want to show up on video and photo.
But each time I see myself I’m horrified.
And really I think the problem is – I want other people to see me thin and think I’m beautiful too.
I don’t want them to think, oh she’s gained weight.

I’ve been around those conversations and they are plenty in our society and now I feel like I’ll be included in as the subject of conversation.

I intellectually know I’m creating the below model but I don’t know how to get out of it. My brain is telling me that this is different. I can only be seen as slimmer and beautiful and maintaining my weight. I’m an example of a person who has a good disciplined life.

C current weight
T I’ve been yo-yo overeating and now I can’t possibly show up to market my business.
F shame
A don’t market, don’t have high regard for myself, don’t self coach, don’t stay focused on weight loss protocol, give up when I’m not dropping weight fast enough, hide from potential clients, hide from the world, next week my life away
R not growing business?