Shame over buying a toy for my son

I had this weird moment in a store the other day…that I’m still perplexed by days later…

My husband and I were getting essentials from the store and my son wanted a toy – we usually try to get out the store without buying a toy for him because we don’t want to spoil him in a way where every time we go to the store it’s expected that he gets toy.

My husband let him play with a fifty-cent dinosaur squirt gun that he just loved. My husband said, “Hey, if he’s content with that, let’s just go with it”.

As we were approaching checkout, I suddenly felt shame and just awful like we were cheating our son – deceiving him. We were getting him this cheap toy that he has no idea that it’s cheap and will probably fall apart and we’re just getting him that to avoid buying something bigger and more expensive.

I literally felt bad for my son – guilty, like I’m a bad mom. And at the same time so loving toward him that he’s happy with such a minimal toy. But I know logically, who cares? He’s happy and that’s all that matters.

I think there’s something “deeper” there though. It was a strange mix of emotions that felt super important – and I know there’s something there around my money mindset that is definitely a thought error.

What are some questions I can ask myself to explore this a little further?