Showing Up with More Love vs Self-Abuse

I’m second guessing what is the best action. My married daughter spoke to me in a disrespectful way. I want to show up with love because that is who I choose to be. I also want to respect myself. Is this a situation when I should set a boundary (I don’t allow myself to be talked to that way…so I will remove myself for a while)? Or show up with more love (she can say whatever she wants and I still come across with more love)? Is it self-abuse to just “take it” and not react negatively so they someone knows that’s not okay with me? When she talks to me rudely, I end up avoiding her because it is painful. That doesn’t seem like showing up with more love, but it does feel self-protective. Thanks for the help!