Sick of myself!

I seem to know so much in theory, but putting it into practice is quite another thing. My issue is alcohol. My impossible goal next year is to lose 31kg, and I know I will not achieve that if I do not reduce my alcohol intake, because of the calories but just as importantly because I eat when I drink. Almost every day, I plan no drinking, and almost every day (with an occasional exception), I do drink at least a half a bottle of wine, sometimes a bottle (my husband drinks a fair bit too). So most days, I do a Learn and Move on thing, but really, I’m getting so sick of myself – these are not worthy fails! I don’t want to beat myself up, either, but my models are all about “I am learning to sit with urges and not respond to them”, but somehow none of this is working. Are there other thoughts I could practice that might help, or really, at some point, do I just have to do this! I have tried to think about why I drink, the thoughts – it’s a habit, it’s something I do at the end of the day, it’s a stress reliever, it blocks out my pain, all of those things. Last week, I set a minimum baseline of 2 alcohol-free nights. I made one. Many thanks for all your advice, it’s invaluable.