So many thoughts

I have tons of thoughts every day. Some days it’s 50/50 and other days it’s more like 80/10 for negative thoughts. I love the LCS work and believe deeply that we all create our feelings from our thoughts. But even when I know I’m choosing to think negative things and feel negative feelings, I don’t always feel like I have the energy to change them. Sometimes I feel like there is no point when I have to work so hard to change my thoughts when the same thoughts keep coming back over and over.

I woke up early this morning (3AM) and my head was full of memories from the past and judgments about my responses and then fast forwarding to the present and realizing that I’m not content with the way things have turned out. I have the constant thought that “my life should be different”; “I should have made different choices”. And even though I know these are my thoughts and they are not serving me, my mind keeps going back to them over and over. It’s wearing me down and I feel depressed, I have low energy, and I feel kind of blank about everything.

I want to wake up and feel amazing, and have purpose, and spread joy but I don’t feel amazing or joyful and right now I don’t have a purpose outside of myself so I default to – there is no point.

I’m stuck in a negative vortex of my own doing and I’m having trouble seeing my out.

C – my own thoughts
T – I’m tired of thinking the same things over and over
F – Worn down / depressed
A – Stuck in thought loop, remember/feel terrible, remember/feel terrible, remember/feel terrible, can’t sleep, get up early, no motivation to do anything productive, should on myself
R – I keep doing the same things over and over and don’t change my thoughts to create the life I want

C – my own thoughts
T – It’s o.k. that sometimes I have negative thoughts about the past
F – Understanding
A – journal, model, structure my day to accomplish my goals, actively practice thinking “my life is exactly the way it’s supposed to be”.
R – Don’t let my past stop me from creating the life I want now