I’m in a breakup and I feel like I’m spinning . My mind feels unstoppable with the thought loops and negativity.
I am doing thought downloads, taking moments to feel my feelings, resisting a lot also…
I text my ex today. I was nervous with all the weather stuff so I checked in. I shamed myself for not being strong enough to not text him. But I wanted to show I cared as it’s world news what’s happening there. I would have wanted that same thing from someone I love.
I am having a hard time letting go of the hope I had for us. What I wanted us to be vs. what we actually were. He didn’t want commitment 1.5yrs in. I tried to stay for a while but had to eventually stop betraying myself to please him and walk away.
I am finding thoughts that attach my value to him “not fighting for me to stay” like there is something wrong with me.
I am also being hard on myself for having a hard time with this breakup. Today is 2 weeks Into it and I know that pain and grief come but I feel like I am causing more suffering with my thoughts and attachment.
I have all the information, I have been coached and I have enlightenment in my journaling or thoughts at times. But overall the majority of my time right now feels like chaos in my mind and body.
What am I doing wrong? Why is this so hard for me?