Spiraling in self loathing

My driving issue for all areas is my self hate. Im not confident in my thinking. I think I am crazy amd can never have a calm intentional thinking mind. I buffer all the time. My weight is out of control. I plan for hours but get nothing done. Im always overwhelmed and feel i take on too much. I am out of balance. These are my models. So sad, thanks for the help.
C: Thinking
T: I can’t stop my horrible thoughts about myself
F: Sad & Ashamed
A: I can choose my thoughts and I chose positive thoughts about myself. If I can choose to believe negative thoughts. I can choose to believe positive thoughts.
R: Healthy Happy Thinking

C: I have a body
T: I have a body I feel uncomfortable in.
F: Uncomfortable/Embarrassed
A: Allow the discomfort. Time will bring comfort with actionable eating plan. No flour/no sugar no alcohol. Eat -2 to 2. Fast 24 hour Mon, Fast 16 hour Tuesday – Thur, Fast 16 hours Friday & Sunday, Three meals Saturday. No snacking. No joy eats until 20lbs are lost.
R: Happy Body

C: I have clients
T: I have taken on too much work.
F: I will never complete work for clients and fail. Then I will lose my clients. I will have no money and my family will have to live on the streets.
A: Follow schedule with no exceptions, allow for one hour a day for “immediate need clients”
R: Completed Client Work

C: I have a plan.
T: I do not follow my plan. I change my plans because I don’t want to do planned item at planned time even though it’s the best time to do it. Then buffer with sleep, food, alcohol, cleaning, organizing, more planning.
F: Disappointed, panicked, scattered, scared
A: Follow plan duh just fucking follow it!
R Content w no buffer

C: I have a plan.
T: Following plan will give me reassurance that I know what to do and when to do it.
F:I will feel organized, controlled, prepared, proud by following my plan. I will be able to enjoy the time I’m in because I planned it. I won’t be dreading doing things.
A:Follow plan and enjoy that planned time. Retrain your mind to enjoy not dread beginning of next plan item.
R: Enjoy time planned for while your in that planned time.