I am studying for a state exam that I have already taken. This time, I am way more prepared than I was before, but I still do not feel ready. I’ve been telling myself my practice answers are not good enough because they are not exact replicas of the practice responses I am studying from. I have 5 more days to study, but my brain is having a lot of thoughts about the possibility of not passing. Here is my current model:
C: Test is this Saturday
T: There is no way I can study enough to pass, it’s just too much to digest and remember
A: Zone out or get distracted while studying. Forget some of what I have studied and beat myself up for not being “more ready”.
R: My study sessions do not make me feel as prepared as I’d like to be and I become mopey and emotional.
If I could title this model it would be “She thought she couldn’t, so she didn’t”. EW. I don’t want that title! I want the title “She believed in herself, she gave it all of her effort, and she passed!” I know my current thought does not have to be true. I could totally pass it even if I don’t feel 100% perfect. I’m just struggling to believe this thought and my brain wants to focus on the worst case scenario instead, to protect me from failure. I am so afraid to have to study for this test again and to pay for it again and to dread it again, so I guess my brain wants me to fail ahead of time so I am not disappointed. I keep seeing myself sitting in the chair at the desk, drawing a blank and feeling tired and distracted. This is definitely not the image of myself I want going into this test. How do I make a positive thought shift I can believe in?