Stepdaughter Rejection

Hi Brooke,
I’ve made a lot of positive change around having a step daughter, thought models and work on my own childhood. I’m very grateful for your coaching program that has taught me to be more responsible for my thoughts. It’s saved me in a lot of areas but especially being a step mom with out plans to have kids of my own. Yikes!

Recently, I’ve been making intentional attempts to connect with my 12 year old step daughter. Who, by the way, is seeing a therapist right now because according to her biological mom “she doesn’t like me and has a lot of anger towards me for taking her dad away”. I get it, her age and the changes she’s experienced.

When I make these attempts though, it feels vulnerable already, and then add that she shrugs my hand off or rejects me, it has started to really wear on me emotionally and taking a tole on my marriage with a lot of arguments. I’ve been practicing new thoughts but it still makes me feel ANGRY, resentful, and alone.
C: Step daughter shrugs my hand off
T: It’s ok, it’s not a reflection of me
F: annoyed
A: ignore it
R: distant towards her

What error am I making? I wonder if I’m not believing my new thought? I’d love to get your perspective, I’ve been trying to practice before asking you about it.