How do I stop thinking thoughts that do not serve me and get my work done?

Thank you for all you do! So happy to see your Friday messages!!! And happy that you’re adding some surprise webinars.

I missed yesterday’s call because I had an impromptu appointment with my attorney to discuss that “sticky” doctor who will not go away– the doctor you (Brooke) coached me on in a call.

I removed him from my OIT Provider List because he was not communicating back to me when his patients were complaining and posting all sorts of derogatory remarks about him on fb. He had closed offices and didn’t tell patients. No one answering phones. He would not even respond to me. So eventually, I removed him.

Nearly a year earlier, he had asked to help establish my nonprofit and then right before signing contracts informed me that he had named it, bought the domain, and would be transferring my data soon to a more appropriate place. And that he decided it would be physician-driven, so I was out. Of course, I told him he could not have my data and I would carry on, replace my board, hire new attorneys, and good luck. I informed my board that I was no longer working with him. I think they thought I would be ok handing over 7 years of work to them, or just continue on. But he had unleashed on me in an email that determined I would never have any type of transaction with him ever. They said they had no idea what was going on and that he was working “WITH” me. But it was over and I had to keep working alone basically.

Six months later, when I removed him from the List, it was based on complaints from patients. But considering what he had done previously, while ostensibly helping me form the nonprofit, I needed to not work on his behalf anymore. He could not be trusted and the amount of time he and his patients were taking away from other doctors and members, and my own family, was too much.

For months, he asked to speak with me. I said no and stopped responding. He apologized for the letter but continued trying to discredit me to myself. It was bizarre. He had patients and other doctors ask me to speak with him as well. I said no to everyone. I knew he would blame others and try to manipulate me. The content of his emails were filled with accusations that I had lied about him and misunderstood what was happening. No ownership at all. There was nothing for me to lie about. They were well within their rights to want to run their own nonprofit. But they could not have my data.

I created this organization because children were dying while researchers were withholding the treatment. My own son could have died by now because he has/had a 2 minute window to full blown anaphylaxis. And airborne reactive. Which means walking into a mall where they were heating up peanut bbq sauce could kill him. And most allergists are linked to pharmaceutical companies and food allergy nonprofits who are funded by the pharmaceutical companies that want to “shut us down.”

Quick example, a drug company cannot find a home for their drug. They link it to OIT (a process of desensitization). Doctors make $1000/shot because the drug company gives them the drug and they charge the patient. They tell the patient OIT is not possible without the drug– but it is. All you need is an allergist willing to grind up and measure the doses, and maintain a relationship with the patient… for life. Once treatment is over, approximately a year for one allergen, it’s a yearly checkup. If they are sick and cannot do their dose, the doctor will talk you through via text/email/phone. It’s rather simple. The success rate is 95-100%. They can use food from the grocery store–which is what we are exposed to in the real world right. But some researchers copied the private practice form of dosing with capsules, and are trying to sell that product. They’ve spent millions to produce it. It would cost families $6500/yr. eternally. If they go off, they lose their tolerance. They never go past a one peanut tolerance so they are still a slave to the allergy. Whereas in private practice, you can go to 8-24 peanuts/day, pass a challenge, and be free to eat anything, anywhere, without reactions.

I begged a researcher to leave his job and treat my son. There were 3 other allergists offering treatment but there was no name to it and they were all experimenting. Over the years, I’ve bridged the gap between research and private practice in profound ways, but there are still those who are simply in it for the money. If they came up with a cure, power to them. They deserve millions.

Most of my doctors have wait lists for years. And there are 17 million food allergic people who don’t even know OIT is an option. We cold call allergists in whatever city we have a member who needs treatment, invite them to read our site, join our groups, connect them with experienced doctors to train them, then List them, welcome them to our groups and they are off and running.

And now, one doctor who was removed, keeps using my names, contacting my doctors, inviting them to his meetings, charges them $150/registration, it’s fraudulent– and that distracts me. You said bless him on his way– which I keep doing but he still isn’t going away. He keeps upping the ante.

So I watch more of your podcasts, record my own, try to figure out how to host them to Libsyn, carry on learning new skills to expand our platform. Just when I think I’m stable or moving forward, something else happens. This week, I received a letter from his attorney requesting a meeting. He’s in Utah. I flew out once (in 12 years, by myself!) to make sure he was on the up and up before uniting for the nonprofit. But it didn’t go well. He was nice but refused to discuss business. His wife was rude so it was a useless trip– except I got to see my belly dancing teacher who was teaching a seminar in SLC! I was thinking ahead. If the meeting was a flop I would still have her.

The letter stated that I am telling patients he’s dangerous and they should not see him. Which is entirely not true. I had just finished translating Turkish to Spanish and back again, enlisting help from members, because a family from Mexico was selling 2 of their houses and moving to Utah for treatment with him. But if the Turkish doctor offered it, they might stay there. This was something his office should have been doing. But no one knew Spanish or was capable of using free online translations. I have referred hundreds of patients to him over the years. I’ve never heard a complaint of that type. But, I understand he had to go to the lawyer with something? She wouldn’t involve herself unless there were some claim of illegal activity.

The other doctors said to ignore him–that it’s all an intimidation tactic. “Fast” (his new nonprofit) has nothing and asked me for all my material so they could put their name on it. I created websites, groups, platforms on Twitter, Tumbler, Youtube, etc… with no model and no money to bring patients to them and let people know treatment is available. But I do not trust anyone with our data because everyone has a price. They will sell it and dilute it and dissolve it. Then people will be right back where they were before I started all of this.

He even asked one of my doctors to create a website for them? He said no of course. Then, at a conference where our doctors rented a private room for a Private Practice OIT meeting, he and another PPOIT/Fast-doctor threw away a box of PPOIT pens two of our doctors had purchased. Another doctor saw this and told me. The doctor who threw the pens away called and said she had passed them out. So they act like children in other words.

My supporting doctors, over 100, have emailed saying that doctors do not work well together. Their egos are too big. And what I have accomplished is not only amazing, but getting them all together is unbelievable. They keep saying to ignore Dr. J. One of the board members is our very own doctor. He said stay the course and focus on what I do. There is no conflict. Not to worry.

I asked for evidence of anything defaming his name. They have nothing. Then asked that “Fast” stop using my name and for 1/2 the money they made at the last meeting be donated to my nonprofit, since they used my name and invited my doctors. That there will be no agreement with Dr. J because then there will be an association and I ended any affiliation by removing him from the List last year. They haven’t responded. Or donated.

Today, after we removed and blocked him and more of his patients from our OIT Australia group, they started their own group called OIT Aussies. It’s ridiculous. It’s distracting. I have held their hands through treatment and they barrage me with hate mail and threats. So we keep blocking and removing them. Thank goodness I have a team of admins who screen most of this but they shouldn’t have to deal with it either.

I have about 10 more doctors to add to the List. That’s about an hour/doctor– copying their info from their websites, adding them to the map, all sorts of goofy website stuff. As soon as I do, BAM! Fast will scoop them up and ask them to join their np pretending we are affiliated. I sent out a letter today to the doctor group specifying our groups have no affiliation with Fast, besides a few members being on their board.

I could sell ads on the website. Get sponsors for the podcast once I figure it out. I can do things to make money. I cannot charge doctors for being on the List because I might have to remove them if they act like Dr. J or worse. Plus, I talk them into learning, training, and offering OIT so then I cannot really charge them for it too.

If I could maintain my focus long enough to do this work– add the new doctors, update the info for the others, etc… I know “he” is trying to distract and delay me. So why am I letting him? Just do the work. I suppose sitting here with a bowl of chocolate chips is buffering. And this probably comes down to amateur v. professional. I could have done this by now.

I’m thinking, “a mailing list that I could send info to them, but they cannot access each other’s emails, would prevent removed doctors from soliciting to current doctors.” Instead of adding new doctors. It’s not procrastination because I’m sitting here–just not doing it. “Feeling sorry for myself?” In a perfect world, I would pass this on to someone else. Go input all this data. I’ll work on content or training. I don’t need encouragement, I’m the encourager. I need an easier website. It’s a real estate theme so a tree nut is a fireplace– it’s silly– but it was a gift from my admins who did their best.

We have abundance. That’s why we are targets. Without the “attacks” the awesome doctors would not spend so much time helping me keep on track. I read their material and there is pure brilliance from within. I don’t want to let everyone down because a child-adult cannot have what he wants. I think this is a professionalism issue. I’m not one yet.

I know you cannot answer all our messages personally. I am watching and reading everything so if you address any of these issues generally, I’ll get it.

Thank you!!! I would not have made it through the last half of the year without you. If my grumpy, stalky, removed admin would not have acted up, combined with this doctor, I would not have joined scholars. But I knew it was going to get worse before better. And I need to be able to function through this stuff.