Struggling with accepting my boyfriend’s decision to leave me

My boyfriend and I’s relationship has been in crisis for over 6 months. At Christmas he tried to leave me, and then again at the end of February. Both times we talked things through and agreed to work on the relationship. During covid we were separated for 3 months, but we spoke every day and again went into crisis as he told me that he was not sure we were the right match. But told me again he had decided to work on our relationship.

He got back 10 days ago, things seemed to be going well, but on Wednesday night he came over and this time told me he was leaving me for good. I did not stop him and I let him go. However I am overwhelmed and very confused as to how we arrived here, and how, after so much time convincing me that he wanted to work on the relationship, he walked out only 10 days after finally being reunited.

I am struggling with so many emotions, having trouble sleeping and not thinking of anything other than him and what he is thinking. I don’t know what to do.