I’m new and still struggling with models. Here’s my best attempt, plus more questions to follow.

C. My committed partner declined my request for sex after a morning make-out session.
T. He isn’t attracted to me.
F. Fat/ugly/undesirable (mostly undesirable)
A. Act like it’s okay. Cry in the shower. Spend all day thinking about it.
R. I’m depressed.

T. I’m not going to let him make me feel that way again.
F. Defiant.
A. Never initiate sex.
R. I get even less sex.

T. We don’t have enough sex.
F. Deprived/resentful.
A. Cheating? Pulling away emotionally?
R. Guilt/ losing my partner.

So many questions…
1) Is it okay to start a new model from a result? Or do I need a new/different C? How would that even look?

2) I did a thought download. There were a million other thoughts but only a couple feelings. I tried a tree but I got overwhelmed. Advice on thought/feeling trees and how best to look at all the thoughts.

3) How much of this is just me not wanting to feel my feelings and how much of this is thinking that I want/need to change? How do I know the difference?

4) The last time I felt I rejected in bed, my partner and I had a fun day planned. I was having so many negative thoughts and feelings, I couldn’t enjoy the day. How do I feel my feelings and not let them get in the way of what I want? I feel like the only way I could have fully “felt” my feelings would have meant canceling the day. As it was, I went through with our plans but neither one of us had much fun.

5) At what point does sharing any of this with my partner come into play? Is it all on me since I can’t change his thoughts/feelings/actions? How does that even work?