I’m seeing somebody long distance we haven’t had a trip in a while. He asked me to come there, I told him I would rather him come here because I go there a lot and want him to put in the effort too. He said he doesn’t wanna work from here and he doesn’t want to take time off work. So no he won’t come here.
He said he has no problem coming here but right now he does not want to.
So I asked “the only way that I get to see you is if I come there?” and he said “or FaceTime or zoom.” I’m very frustrated that he’s not flexible and not trying to put in the effort to see me or talk about the situation.
I feel like I have to put up or shut up if i wanna see him. don’t like it that it’s his way or the highway. I don’t know how to handle this because he does not want to talk about it anymore and I’m extremely tense and frustrated with his answer

Thoughts:
Why is he so hard headed
Why are all of our trips difficult
Why does he only want yes or no answers and this discussion frustrated him.
How do I speak up for my needs
He should be really happy to see me and make it work
I want him to want to come here
Our relationship has been on & off so my home feels better to me
I’m not that important to him
Where is my voice
Where is what I want and why is that not happening
I wanna see him
I wanna go there but I don’t
I miss him and this really sucks
I’m so mad and angry at him
I’m the woman, isn’t he supposed to pursue me.

C: He does not want to come here this trip
T: This is not how two people work together
F: frustrated
A: ruminate, get mad at him, mad at myself for considering to go, walk on eggshells with him, upset, want to cry, feel stuck, sit in confusion. Body tenses up, talk to friends, try to hear my higher self, look up dates to go there.
R: we do not work together. I’m resentful.

Any help is appreciated.