When I am listening to scholars and doing the courses, TDLs and models, I feel like I totally have a handle on my thoughts and feelings and it helps me to take action or at least know the direction I want to go in. But when something from the outside pokes in I suddenly question everything and feel like my thoughts must be wrong because they don’t match up with whatever or whoever poked into my LCS bubble.
I don’t stand firm in my beliefs and I start telling myself that I’m not being realistic, I’m being too passive, I’m spending too much time in my own head, this stuff only works under perfect circumstances.
I guess I’m having trouble keeping my new thoughts intact as they move from my own head into real world application. In other words my intentional model reverts back to the unintentional model and I feel silly for even thinking the intentional model could be the truth.