My thought is based on a the scripture verse, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it”. I have dedicated most of my life to raising my children to be good, kind people. Now that they are adults, some of them are not good and kind (with me). Help me with my model, please.

C-I have adult children who live as they please
T – I have taught them to be kind, grateful, respectful…and because of the above Bible verse, I expect them to live those values.
F – disappointed, betrayed
A- hold tongue, withdraw because they are acting in a way that in contrary to their upbringing
R- I feel disconnected with them

tried to change my model to this:

C-I have adult children who live as they please
T – My children are still young and learning
F – more patience with their journey
A- still hold tongue, withdraw because they are acting in a way that in contrary to their upbringing
R- I feel disconnected with them

I can’t seem to change my actions or results.
Help, please.