Thought model on reconciling my own and my spouse’s perspectives


Hi Brooke,

Thanks again for your suggestions. I had originally posed the question relating to becoming a life coach and reconciling my perspectives with my husband’s practical concerns. I have done a couple thoughts models and was hoping you could provide feedback on if I need to refine or change anything. You had asked me to think about what I make his concerns mean, and to do models on these thoughts.

Unintentional Thought 1:
C: I have the option of quitting my current full-time job right away vs. staying in my current job for a period of time or though my contract in transition to a coaching career. Husband has some practical concerns.
T: He is often right and because he has concerns I may not succeed. (I asked myself if this is true, and the answer is no)
F: uncertain, unconfident
A: I hold back on moving forward with my commitment and play it safe
R: I make slower progress toward my ultimate goal

Intentional Thought 1
C: same as above
T: My success is independent of my husband’s concerns
F: confidence
A: I can inquire more actively from a place of curiosity and find out more about my husband’s concerns, and in doing so this will help me have a more complete perspective and make the best decision for moving forward
R: I develop success in my business and do what’s best for my family as well

Unintentional Thought 2:
C: Husband suggests that I stay in my full-time job longer before transitioning to coaching career
T: There is only one way to be certain that we have the bills paid (staying put) and that we’ve saved money for our goals
F: Stagnant, inflexible
A: I stay in my current job and hold back on developing my business
R: I don’t get the results I would like for my business or achieve the potential I could

Intentional Thought 2:
C: Same as above
T: Husband’s suggestion to stay in my current job is a suggestion only, not a judgement.
F: Neutral, open-minded
A: I can consider his suggestion as an option amongst others, compare, and come to the best decision.
R: He feels respected and heard. I find the best solution for us. I have a balanced outcome of what is good for us and for me.