I’m working with my thoughts around failure, thinking “I’m bad”, and the resulting feeling of shame it generates.

I’ve noticed recently that it’s not just around failing at a task or project that I starting thinking “I’m bad.”

Thoughts:
– They think I’m bad (feel shame)
– they don’t understand me, I should have made myself understood (feel shame)
– I did this well. Other people think I didn’t. I’m bad (feel shame).

I’m trying to figure out what the belief is that’s causing the shame. Sometimes I feel the shame even when I really disagree with what someone thinks.

For example:
I say I’m an atheist
Person X is incredulous. Says I’m wrong. I think like maybe there’s something wrong with me. I feel shame.

But at the same time I’m confident about how I came to the conclusion of atheism!

Example 2:
-complete a work project. I’m really proud of the result even though it’s not perfect
-person A critiques, harsh or not
-I did something wrong. I’m bad. Feel shame.

Originally I thought I was afraid of failure. But maybe something else here?

On the other hand, if I’m confident the work product is perfect, I sometimes resist the shame and confidently, sometimes angrily, argue for why it’s perfect.