Thoughts about failure

I’m working with my thoughts around failure, thinking “I’m bad”, and the resulting feeling of shame it generates.

I’ve noticed recently that it’s not just around failing at a task or project that I starting thinking “I’m bad.”

– They think I’m bad (feel shame)
– they don’t understand me, I should have made myself understood (feel shame)
– I did this well. Other people think I didn’t. I’m bad (feel shame).

I’m trying to figure out what the belief is that’s causing the shame. Sometimes I feel the shame even when I really disagree with what someone thinks.

For example:
I say I’m an atheist
Person X is incredulous. Says I’m wrong. I think like maybe there’s something wrong with me. I feel shame.

But at the same time I’m confident about how I came to the conclusion of atheism!

Example 2:
-complete a work project. I’m really proud of the result even though it’s not perfect
-person A critiques, harsh or not
-I did something wrong. I’m bad. Feel shame.

Originally I thought I was afraid of failure. But maybe something else here?

On the other hand, if I’m confident the work product is perfect, I sometimes resist the shame and confidently, sometimes angrily, argue for why it’s perfect.