I absolutely loved the thought given in the answer of “It isn’t my job to fix them; I just get to love them,” and it creates the feeling of connected for me.

As you pointed out, my manual for them is that they shouldn’t express a victim mentality. And I had identified that in a coaching session, but it went over my head. Thank you for stating it again as I feel like I really saw how it was playing out.

hat are some possibilities in the way I can act in conversation with them when they are being the victim? I want to feel connected, as mentioned, but I don’t want to agree or encourage their victim mentality. I’m not sure what that would look like.

Here are some things I thought of for the action line. Is this how someone could act to convey the above?

A= I say “yeah, that’s difficult”, I find things I agree with and focus on that; I say “Yeah, that has to be hard” or “that can’t be easy”, I say “I wish so-and-so hadn’t done that”

Am I on the right track?