Thoughts Creating Different Results Between Recording a YouTube video and Live Streaming on YouTube

My name is not Jennifer, so I didn’t get live coaching on the Jen Part I or II sessions, so I’m posting here 🙂 It was actually supposed to happen exactly as it did, and I’ve continued to coach myself and gained a lot of insight! I can tell when I’m lying to myself and don’t feel like that below, but please let me know your perspective if I’m unaware of something I’m missing. This is the condensed version:

C: Slightly different personality (Result) for different channels of communication (recording YouTube video versus live streaming for this CTFAR, but also in person one-on-one, in a small group, bigger group, large presentation, phone, Skype/Zoom, email, text, FB Messenger)

T: I should (ought to) be more engaging (Action) when I record for YouTube
F: pressure
A: Started and stopped recording twice after freezing up first and giving a squeaky-voiced “Hi..” and trailed off second, finished the video the third time
R: My Action wasn’t engaging

T: I should (be able to) have the same engagement (Action) for recording or live streaming (Circumstances) because As always come from Ts and Fs.
F: curious/intrigued
A: Explore how this is true, for others (Brooke and other LCS coaches, Richard Simmons, and myself)
R: My realization that the thoughts I have about the truth that TFA causes R aren’t the thoughts I have in the moment I’m recording or streaming; believing the former is a different model than the model for the latter, so I need to determine the exact thoughts I’m thinking in the moment of recording and of streaming.

*Side note 1: I haven’t live streamed yet on YouTube, so I only have an idea of how it will be based on how I am on Skype/Zoom. I know it’s not the same, and I’ll have the addition of focusing on and responding to the live chat, but it’s just in the C line anyway.
*Side note 2: I’ve explored the thoughts I use to have when speaking in front of a larger audience. I use to think they were bored because of the way I was interpreting their body language. I also was bored, because I’d already practiced my presentation so many times and would imagine myself sitting in the audience hearing something I’d heard many times before. I worked through both of these, so I didn’t have it to deal with it here. I haven’t noticed any negative self talk Thoughts I need to explore.

C: Recording YouTube video (in the moment I’m recording)

Unintentional Thought:
T: This will be better when I’m live streaming so I’ll have people to communicate with instead of talking to the screen.
F: disconnected (with target market)
A: I record a good video (I’d prepared notes that were awesome)
R: My unengaging presentation of great material

TDL: If I want to be more engaging, I have to have a supporting T and F. My people (target market) are present when I’m recording, and I already heard them speaking to me which is why I chose them as my target market! They are present (albeit in a different location and time zone), which is a C, so it can’t affect my T. They are communicating their needs (I know through research I’ve done that the stress levels and suicide rates are high), which is also a C; the fact that the communication isn’t verbalized or written in the moment I’m recording is also a C, so it can’t affect my T either.

Intentional Thought:
T: My people are here, communicating with me.
F: passionate
A: I record a good video, speaking directly with my people.
R: I’m more engaged without the thought that my people aren’t here and live streaming will be better.

TDL: There’s still a missing Thought I need because my Result isn’t the same engagement level when I record versus when I’m Skyping with a person. My C of coaching a person live is different than my C of recording, so it will be easier to have Thoughts about a specific person (versus thoughts of my people existing on the other side of the world) that create a different R…not impossible because I believe the model, but maybe not practical? Do I even want to be that energetically engaged when recording? I don’t know if I would want to have a Richard Simmons energy level on a recording.
TDL: Maybe it’s not useful for me as a beginner to look for a Thought to remove/replace. With experience through taking MFA (massive fucking action), all my Thoughts will be more efficient, stronger (neural pathways), and will become subconscious, making room for more Thoughts. My entire thought culture will advance from beginner to experienced, but there isn’t an individual T I can adopt now as a beginner YouTube recorder that will produce the R of being an experienced YouTube recorder. The way it is now, who I am now as a beginner, is the way it’s supposed to be now. By taking MFA, I’ll become an experienced YouTube recorder, and that’s the way it will supposed to be then. My thought culture will evolve, and all the Rs in my life will be affected by it. Included in my more advanced thought culture will be memories (Thoughts) of previous coaching sessions, so I will feel more connected with those Thoughts. I’m never connecting with people anyway, but my thoughts about them; in person, the memories are just super fast, like how Byron Katie talks about there is no present (she says the present just passed, it passed again, it passed again…where is it? hahaha).

C: Recording my 4th YouTube video (in the moment I’m recording)
Thought culture: created through the culmination of all my MFA to date
R: What it is supposed to be, the reality created by my thought culture

C: Recording my 52nd YouTube video (in the moment I’m recording)
Thought culture: created through the culmination of all my MFA to date (including all the fails toward my 2018 impossible goal)
R: What it is supposed to be, the reality created by my thought culture

I don’t yet know my exact thoughts comprising my thought culture in the future, but I’m finding out along the way by taking MFA toward my impossible goal!!! My thoughts about my people (target market) will become more detailed and produce a higher level of engagement, similar to how people become more engaged with each other from the time they first meet to years into their friendship.


Brooke, thank you, for all your value, generosity, and vulnerability!!!!!