Our adult son got out of the military in January and returned from Italy. He moved in with us until he could get settled. He barely spoke to us the whole 7 months he lived here and made it clear he didn’t want to be asked questions about his experience in italy. He basically didn’t talk to us much at all and commented negatively about us every chance he got. He ate out meals and stayed to himself alot. He did find a job doing manual labor after he’d been an officer in the military. This past weekend he moved out without so much as a thank you or anything. If we hadn’t heard from his sibling that he was buying a house, we might not ever had known. I am struggling with my feelings of anger and hurt that he has been, in my opinion, very rude to us. I have no idea if he is upset with us or if he is upset with himself for his current situation (being underemployed). I’m left to guess what he is thinking and doing in regard to his family.
C – he moved out
T – he’s rude, did we do something to him?, why would he treat us so badly?
F – Angry, hurt
A – continue to wonder and be in pain
R – no peace regarding my relationship with my son

Can you help me to work on a model that will help me change my feelings about him moving out? I am basically pleased that he is getting on with his life but not sure why he treated us this way