Trust


Help. I wrote a couple months ago about my 17 year old who we caught with marijuana a few times. You coached me to think about who I wanted to be as a mom and we ended up having a good conversation and establishing boundaries and trust slowly. However, this month he is in CA (we live on the East Coast) and I find that I’m not trusting him again. We budgeted a certain amount for him for food and going out but he tells us he needs more. I want to trust that he is telling the truth but I don’t. I worry that he is spending it on drugs and am getting into fights with him.

I am conflicted because I want to trust him but I don’t because of past behavior. What should I do??? I am also trying to control his behavior by withholding money. I know he would be able to find the money somehow if he really wanted to and was addicted to drugs, but I don’t want to enable him that way. At the same time, I dont even know that’s true. It’s my assumption. Help! I listened to your podcast about believing Christian had the flu even though he could have had meningitis;
Is this the same thing? Should I choose to believe he really just needs the cash for extra snacks and clothes instead of pot? Am I delusional if I did this? Sincerely, anxious mom