Three months after breaking up, we (me and T) decided to get back together and take it slow. We both have things to work on. Me, manage my emotion.
We had dinner, watched a movie, and had a good evening. I heard he told my roommate that he’s going to be out of town seeing his family for Christmas and I felt sad after I heard that because I thought if I didn’t break up with him, I would be going too.

My sister’s wedding is in two week and I can’t go because they are in South East Asia and because of Covid-19.

Sometimes I feel alone and my roommate has the smartest dog ever! She is with me a lot and I notice she calms me down and keeps me company.
I am going to get a puppy and T is going to help me bring it home. It’s a five hour drive one way. I never thought I would want to have any pet in my life, but now I do, because I think it’s going to help me emotionally and keep me company. But, it’s going to be a lot of work! I already sent in a deposit, so I am going to pick up the puppy.

Questions:
1. How can I hear what T is up to, or planning trips, and me not feel hurt in my gut?
2. Am I ready to commit to this innocent puppy?
I wasn’t able to commit to any of my previous relationships because I used to be pretty bad at managing my emotion or something was wrong about them, but I have been committed to my business almost five years now.