For the past couple of months, I have felt very unmotivated, mainly with work but really with a lot of my goals. I’ll try to put things on my calendar and follow Monday Hour One but I always feel a deep resistance no matter what’s on there, unless what’s on there is to lay in bed and read or go for a walk.

If I put anything on there that relates to work or other goals, I dread it. Now, following the guidance, I still do it and follow-through despite the resistance. I want to keep my job and am not ready to quit. But I’m not sure what I can do to generate feelings of excitement or desire, rather than feelings of “should” or “have to”. Thoughts like “I am so grateful for having a job” feel believable but do not quite lead to feelings of desire or excitement. These feelings have happened over the last couple of months and I’m wondering if they are caused by a certain level of depression because of computer fatigue and Covid-related circumstances (thoughts around). I know everything is related to thoughts but how does the diagnosis of depression factor in?

C: Work activity on my calendar
T: This is uninteresting to me
F: Depressed/unmotivated
A: Slow to act, procrastinate, go through the motions
R: Lack of interest in any project or goal