Using day planning to beat myself up

Halfway thru the month here and ugh! I write out my day plans in 30m increments, starting with waking up at 0600. Not once this month have I executed the plan I wrote.

Unintentional thought plan
C- Day plan
T- I am a failure because I don’t stick to my plan
F- shame, failure
A- avoiding planning and the plan
R- not gaining the benefits of day planning, beating myself up at night.

Intentional plan
Well, I tried to build this from the R line…

C- Day plan
T- I can plan and follow thru
F- Accomplished
A- execute plan, have my own back in deviation
R- Control of my time

I think I don’t believe that control over my time is even possible