Hello,
My question is about dealing with Toxic People. I’ve listened to you talk about this on your podcast, where you talk about using The Model to change the way you feel about a person with a difficult or controlling personality, but my question is this. How do you avoid becoming a doormat for Toxic People?

I can see where changing your perspective around a particularly negative, but otherwise benign person is an effective approach. For instance, my Mother is a huge “Gloom and Doomer,” and I have been able to change the way I think about her actions to improve my experience with her. However, I also have a (former) friend, who had a falling out with another of our mutual friends, and as a consequence, acts in extremely jealous and actively hurtful ways. If I merely change my thinking and perception of his behavior, I am still having to accept his cruel actions. In this case, I did choose to remove myself from the relationship and put myself in a much less negative environment.

I’ve heard Abraham Hicks address this topic as well, and the message there was also to change your own thinking, because you can’t remove yourself from EVERY negative person. However, I do believe there is a difference between dealing with a difficult personality versus a truly abusive person.

How do you decide where to draw the line?

Thank you!