Victims of abuse question

In terms of the call with Corinne from your 9/16 I love, love, loved her approach, and plan to find ways to come up with a morning or nighttime ritual. One lingering question stems from one of the calls she took near the end……. How does the coaching world account for abuse (in the context of one always being in control of how they experience output from another human being). Similar to the perspective that there aren’t toxic people… we control what we let in.

Is the idea that abuse victims didn’t appropriately regulate their gates to allow filth into their fortress?? My concern is that constant re-exposure to personality pathology (with a Narcissist for example) -level manipulation can make guarding ones kingdom quite an intense experience. I struggle with taking responsibility for external behaviors (circumstances) that significantly affected my own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. I would love some further information here…..Thank you.