people would tell you that with their experience. No one made it out of such a situation with a good and long lasting relationship result.

F: freaking out, anxious

A: thinking about I don’t want to do it but I have to do it, induldging in anxiety. Coming up with other people which were in the same situation and left.

R: me thinking something is wrong and doubting my relationship

What I told myself now:

Who cares if it’s not normal?
as long as you get what you want.

As long as you can stay with him and learn how to not believe these thoughts.

You can reach for the stars.

I’m an extraordinary person. And different.

I love him and I’m gonna fight for our love.

It’s all in your head that you

Get out of this state!

It doesn’t serve you to think like that!

But when I read my model again I bounce back to the role where I think the model above. I’ve been thinking about it so long and it feels so so true!

I’ve been in this state the whole day and once my brain is convinced that we have to be aware that something is wrong and I have some good facts. Its hard to come out of this.

My thought that helped me a lot the last few weeks was “only because it feels true it doesn’t mean is true”

Doesn’t get much attention from my brain today. Its still busy with the upper model.

Always when I have a model going on which freaks me out, one part of the brain freaks and looks for evidence that it is not true and then it looks for facts which proofs that the model is true.

The good thing is that I think these thoughts are only an obstacle to be able to fully love my boyfriend. Because I already do. Its just the thoughts are stronger and the overshadow the positive thoughts. And I made some good progress where I could really separate my thoughts from me and my relationship. And just observe it with curiosity. But when I freak out I can’t do that. So I want to learn to stay calm.

I feel so exhausted and always on alert and writing down what I’m thinking. I would love to rip my brain out of my head today. Really. You know this feeling?

Can you maybe help me how I can calm me down?

Like not emerse and induldge in this situation and only look from through this model.

I’ve one month left at scs at I want to learn as much as possible! J

I really appreciate your help on my growth.