C: server helps couple with wine before bringing me my check
T: I don’t matter
F: Invisible
A: Retreat into my head, ruminate about how I’m still single, tell myself stories about how I feel invisible, how I don’t matter, how I’m all alone in this world, how I’m so disconnected, I don’t take actions to meet people or connect with people in a meaningful way, I don’t see how I am connected with everyone and everything
R: I don’t matter to myself?

One of the more difficult feelings I deal with is insignificance / invisibility. Just feeling like I’m basically invisible, worthless, living a meaningless life, just existing to waste time. This is a very painful story that can swing me into a depression.

Reminding myself:

I am feeling invisible because I am thinking thoughts that cause the vibration of invisible feeling in my body. There are other thoughts available to me, but my brain has been thinking these thoughts for a long time.

Maybe I need to try and bridge this thought to something better? Open to ideas on where to take it.