My husband and I have been fighting about his adderall prescription a lot lately. He wants to get off of it and is in the process of weaning himself off. He currently doesn’t take it Friday- Sunday, and during those days we get along so well… but when he comes home from work Monday- Thursday, I assume he’s “speedballing“ and it makes me not want to be around him. This causes me to treat him poorly and act rudely towards him… I know I’m trying to control him.

Ultimately, I want to feel the way I feel when he doesn’t take it all the time, no matter if he takes it or not.

When he doesn’t take it, I think he’s interesting, funny, spontaneous, creative, delightful… when he does take it, I think he’s not himself, and therefore not any of those aforementioned things… instead he’s robotic, subdued, weird, sketchy.

Current model:

C- husband and adderall
T- he’s not himself when he takes adderall, I like him better when he doesn’t take it
F- frustration
A- acts rudely toward husband monday-Thursday, acts nice towards him Friday-Sunday
R – Fights with husband and doesn’t have fun or connection with him monday-Thursday , exhausts self

Goal model

C- husband and adderall
T- he’s interesting, funny, spontaneous, creative, delightful and his pills are none of my business
F- loving
A- acts living toward husband
R- has fun and connects with husband

I need / want another perspective, could you help?