HI Brooke,
I have some models I would like you to look at regarding my 26 y.o. son. He lives in California and we live in Texas. He had problems with bullying in Middle School and has had some problems getting in with the wrong crowd in college and never finished. He depends on us often to help with his rent and he seems to have the same type of relationships where girls want him to pay for everything and then he gets in trouble financially. It feels to us that he likes drama. He recently moved to California and has had trouble making friends and is very lonely. He calls us and I end up feeling horrible after the phone calls because he repeats his stories to us over and over and the same financial woes. I am struggling to feel compassion for him because I don’t think he is doing enough to help himself. I have introduced him to a lot of your teachings but he says he read it and it did not help him (no application). This is causing me a lot of suffering. My goal is that he feel unconditional love from us.
Here are a few of my models:
C: Chris struggles financially and socially
T: Why can’t he get his act together?
F: Angry that we still have to help him financially and that we have to listen to his relationship drama
A: Listen, help with rent, give advice
R: Strained relationships

C: Chris struggles financially and socially
T: What if he will always struggle?
F: Despair
A: We always have to help him financially and emotionally
R: He continues to struggle financially and emotionally

Then I realized that my C line is really a thought; so here is a model I want to get to but need help with some bridge thoughts to where I can get to compassion. Or should I just keep repeating “he is doing the best he can” as my mantra when I have negative thoughts?
C: Chris is a young man in his 20’s
T: He is doing the best that he can
F: Compassion
A: Show unconditional love
R: Chris feels love and supported
Thanks,
Wendy