Hi, Brooke. I’ve been doing the work and really spending time with the TDLs and modeling. I love SCS!!! Also, have been doing IF and managing urges and NSNF… and feeling pretty excited about my progress. But, tonight I blew it. AND, after I spent the last couple of days doing the “How to Feel Better” work!!!
My week has been great but I really was doing better on Monday then I am on Thursday… I’m getting worn down by the week. And while this is a feeling that is probably caused by a thought… I also actually feel fatigued or tired in my body and willpower. For example, late this afternoon I found out a number of stressful things about work projects and then when I came home I was dealing with bills and my son’s healthcare which is a bureaucratic mess, cooking dinner, folding laundry and dealing with multiple children who were doing chores and homework and who were all talking to me at once. Then my daughter came home from school in the middle of this and was pretty snarky about the fact that I had expired sour cream in the fridge. I lost my cool and yelled at her. Felt ashamed. Did a quick TDL/model and we made up. Then my youngest son came to me and told me about a situation when he raised his hand in class got the wrong answer and the other kids laughed. He said it made him feel embarrassed and that the other kids don’t like him. He doesn’t want to raise his hand anymore. We sat down and did a model together. He loved it. So, I’m feeling pretty good at this point even though I’m physically tired. Then my 17-year-old son doesn’t come down when I call to help with dishes, laundry and put his phone up for the night. I gave him ten minutes. No go. Then I started giving him consequences. He still doesn’t respond. So, at that point which is after 20 minutes of direct disobedience, I tell him he’s lost media privileges for the weekend. He comes out of his room and we have a big fight. At that point, I am drained and I go into the pantry and eat three cookies!!! The cookies had been there all week without any issue for me. Now I feel disgusted with myself and angry that I let the conflict with my son descend into emotional eating though there were so many stressors before that final one.
How do you deal with being physically tired and overwhelmed by external circumstances and sticking with your plan? When you have multiple stressors how do you step aside long enough to do a TDL/model, and how do you deal with getting back on plan after you mess up? When you are losing your cool/having a fight… is it possible to step back and use the model? How do you deal with distinguishing between physical and emotional fatigue and are there steps you take to avoid emotional meltdowns before you end up losing all your forward movement? (I’m starting the overeating series this weekend, so I’m wondering if you cover some of this in there?)