the Past two days I drank in the evening without planning it and really didn’t want to plan it because I had no intention of drinking.
So here are the conversations in my head
1. I drank unplanned and against my will this past Wednesday and Thursday.
( did a ton of thought work on it and models and write and move on)
2 my usual plan for my drinking is , I’m allowing myself to drink 2-3 nights during the weekend.
3. Okay well I just drank Wednesday and Thursday
4. Should I not allow myself to drink this weekend.
5 afraid I’m getting away from working this program
6. If I was really working the program I already alotted myself two drink nights this week so you should not drink this weekend
7 oh! But then am I punishing myself by not having planned drinking this weekend ???
8. What to do what to do????
Lot of chatter.
Also , if I go through s night without an urge and had not planned on drinking and was susdueeful, am I correct that does not count as an allowed urge?? Is it just, oh my , how did that happen… no urges…. no drinking!
R