I have been asking myself how can I find out what I really want for myself and for my life. I am a designer, I have my own business and put a lot of energy in it for several years. I also moved to Japan 2 years ago. My attention was a lot on how to create a life I like for myself and I think I did well. But sometimes I wonder if all I do is really for myself, for my own good, or to prove something to other people, to please them, to get their approval so they would love me.
My important questions now, as I am 38 and single, are do I really want to be with someone and do I really want to have children or is the reason why I think I want these things because that’s what the society wants me to do? If these desires are not really mine, I would like to free myself from them so I can stop thinking about them or stop spending time looking for a partner for example. How can we find out what we REALLY want for ourselves?