Willing to feel any feeling

I am scared to admit to the book club I lead that I’m not following the protocol exactly. Tonight. I am afraid they will judge me poorly, think I shouldn’t be leading the group and might give up on themselves if they are struggling. I did a model and came up with I will survive as the result. So, I guess with that result, I’m going to be ok, not necessarily happy not proud, but ok. Am I doing this right? It doesn’t feel great