With coaching my life will be exciting

I’ve been around here for more than 2 years now. These days however I see that I am still resisting the concept of 50/50. I believe that I deserve a more exciting life, that there is such a more exciting life waiting for me out there, and that I am missing out on a much more expanded life.

The feelings I tend to get when I go there with my thoughts is scarcity, missing out, miserable.

Then the thought I create is, “If in the next few weeks/months/years I will finally learn (through coaching) how to manage my mind enough then all this misery will be worth it.” This gives me a feeling of hope but at the same time maintains the belief that it is ok to accept a miserable life now.

So again, I am believing there is a more exciting and expanded life waiting for me there, which at the same time creates:

1) motivation (active) to go on with my commitment to coaching
2) hope (passive) that something magical will happen
3) missing out (now) on that future

I think my brain is creating these beliefs from messages I am taking from the LCS itself. I hear Brooke speak about the 50/50 concept, but at the same time I hear her say that for instance with coaching we can “let food be boring and work on making life exciting.”

So, I think it is natural as a student here to envision a perspective of a more expanded version of this life, that feels more exciting and makes the 5050 concept not “really” so true.

Again as a result of this I get 1-3) as above. Any suggestion on how to reconcile these thoughts? Thanks.