Won’t weigh myself

I want to lose some weight. The problem is I feel unable to get on the scale. I feel that the number will be too distressing for me so I’d rather just not know. But I know if I want weight loss, I need that information. Here is my model:

C: Want to lose weight, need to get starting number
T: I can’t weigh myself because it will be too distressing
F: Anxious
A: Don’t get on scale
R: Don’t start weight loss efforts

Can you help me figure out how to move forward?