I am constantly in work situations where I feel tremendous stress. It is usually because there are structures there where I am evaluated for what I do with what feels like no room for error without criticism. For example, all of my recordings with clients are recorded and then reviewed with often negative feedback for what I think are minor things that are not a big deal. Although I’ve been in the business for years and consider myself good at what I do, I have to have someone “shadow” me for meetings as if they don’t trust my work, which makes me have a thought of second-guessing myself.
I am trying to think new thoughts like, “It’s a good thing to get feedback so I know how to improve” etc. but truthfully, I think it’s bullshit and they are being too big brother-like and expecting perfection. Instead of helping me, it is bringing up thoughts of insecurity and doubt. I’m not sure what thoughts to think. Maybe “I’m learning to not care what others think” “I’m great at what I do no matter what their opinion is.” “I can select what feedback I want to listen to that serves me.” I’m practicing these, but every morning I still have thoughts that cause anxiety and not make me want to go to work. I have a pit in my stomach because I’m expecting to be criticized and often wish the day away. That’s not how I want to live my days! Should I just keep practicing my new beliefs?