Work vs. energy


At work I get a bonus for everyone I see/take care of after I hit a certain number. I work as a family physician in a rural area. Now every person I see from March-to June is worth extra bonus money. I am tempted to add people onto my schedule because it seems like a win-win, they get seen and I make more money (last year it was a lot of money for us in bonus).

The problem is my goal is to be more emotionally available for my son who is 3 years old when I am home and to want to do more and be more patient and energetic after work. This can be really hard if after taking care of some very sick (sometimes emotionally draining cases: 14 year old rape victims, new cancer dx’s-i break the news, uncontrolled severe depression) in very low socioeconomic setting. I did some models on it and started working out before work and only eating energizing foods at work. I drink a lot of water and feel I have maximized my physical wellbeing during the day but still get really drained. I try to listen to inspiring podcasts or novels to make me excited when I get home and try to be outside a lot to help once I am home (because outdoors is the best for energy for me). My model related to this but not exactly:
C: I get bonus for all RVU over 400 (RVU-wok value units)
T: I have to make a big RVU bonus
F: excited
A: act like I have vacation energy, see more patients and be happier to see them, treat smaller easier things faster and get paid for doing so instead of communicating over phone calls (which I do not enjoy as much as seeing patients in person ), avoid heavy/hard patients that drain my energy
R: I am proud of myself for making RVUs.

C: I take care of a complex patient population (fact-40% billed visits depression, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, very poor)
T: I hate seeing complex incredibly sick patients
F: defeated
A: take a long time, grasp at straws, get annoyed, get tired, feel drained of energy, try to take breaks
R: I see sick patients and then want to do less

I feel like I sometimes can model that I am making a huge difference seeing complex its but it is so tough to keep that thought process going.