I am having some difficulty working the model, and I would value your help. I performed a thought download this morning and many of the thoughts recorded on paper centered on the topic of
However, this did not surprise me as I am working on Brooke’s Money & Abundance Course within the SCS Study Vault.
I noticed following my thought download that I feel torn between “wants” and “needs” when it comes to money and the allocation of my money towards purchases.I was raised in a home where
money was a struggle. We learned at a young age to not ask for things we wanted–even on birthdays or Christmas–we did not as we knew we wouldn’t get what weasked for–please know, my
siblings and I would receive a gift at Christmas or on our birthdays–so it was not as if we went without.
The gifts, however, were very practical gifts and gifts that made sense from a parental standpoint vs. that of us receiving something we actually wanted and asked for. I recall once being fitted for a
pair of school shoes that I loved–they were very comfortable! They were stylish, comfortable, and well constructed–the shoe had a good reputation for wear and tear, and I knew they would last
me an entire school year. I felt so happy to have them! My mom experienced buyer’s remorse, I guess, and the next day, she took me back with her to the store to return the shoes (I had not worn
them outdoors or to school yet). We went to the discount store (Woolworths) and purchased a “knock off” copy of the shoe from a shoe bin/bucket within the store. They were not the same–she
knew it, and I knew it –but they were less expensive.
Brooke is challenging us to become aware of our thoughts surrounding money –that these thoughts are beliefs we took to be facts. I have often recalled the shoe episode in my life and the thought
that you do not get what you want but rather what you need. You are deserving of needs but not wants. The need for a pair of school shoes (in this case) was met in the “knock-off pair,” and the
“want” of having the other shoe was just being frivolous.
Financially, I am very strapped and not in a very stable position– “wants” are not purchased as much as “needs” are at this time. I began to wonder, was there a time in my life when I did have
extra money and when I did have extra money, what would I purchase? I thought back to a time when I was financially “healthy,” and it struck me that even then, I would pass up the opportunity
to purchase things that I wanted– saying, “If it is here when I come back again, then I will get it.” or–“maybe next time” etc.
Even when I had the money, I wouldn’t get what I want. I am encountering difficulty working a “wants vs. needs” model and hope you can better guide me.
These are some of the models I am trying to work:
C- I financially cannot purchase thing want
T- I do not deserve to purchase the things I want
A- Lament to friends, charge items on a credit card, impulse purchase so to speak to feel better, work several jobs trying to earn money to purchase what I truly want but end up using the money to pay monthly bills, household needs & minimum payments towards credit card balances.
R- Not financially in a position to purchase what I want, or I am even further in debt.
C-I am currently not in a financial position to purchase things that I want
T-Even if I cannot afford to purchase what I want, my bank account’s balance does not reflect whether I am deserving of the things I want
F-Feel I value myself more, my feelings matter & I do not feel guilty for wanting things
A-More open-minded to accepting my current situation and figuring a way to make it better, the impulse urge to purchase things is lessened
R-Less impulsive purchases on a credit card to buffer those feelings–less accrued debt
C- There are wants & there are needs in life.
T- It is wrong to want things I do not necessarily need
A- Buffer by making a foolish/impulse purchase that I try to justify
R- I purchased something I neither needed nor wanted
C-There are wants & there are needs in life
T= It is ok to want things, and I can have what I want if I can afford (have the money put aside) to purchase them.
A= Buffer less; more positive perspective on things; want less because I am not resisting everything I want; I become very discriminant about what I truly want to purchase.
R=There is a balance between both worlds
Am I working the model accurately?