Hi Brooke,

Usually my daughter (cross country runner) runs with friends, or my husband, or her brother. But nobody was available today. She asked me to bike next to her while she runs because she does not want to run alone. I asked her why not? She just said she didn’t want to. I (not so nicely because I was resentful) said that she will have to learn how to run alone because she can’t always rely on others to be available for her.

What do you think of these models?

UIM:
C: Daughter asked to go with her on her run
T: I don’t want to (it’s cold and I am tired after a long day of work). She should be able to do it herself.
F: Resentful
A: Did it anyway
R: Made more comments after the run, telling her that I can’t always do it for her

IM
C: Daughter asked to go with her on her run
T: She needs my help, so I should do it even if I don’t want to
F: Resolved
A: Join her with love
R: She got her run in. She saw I did it out of love. I don’t feel resentful.