a lot of anxiety


I have a lot of anxiety. I try very very hard to carry it like a purse, as Brooke often recommends. It’s definitely a skill I need to continue to work on, and I have faith I will get better at it the more I practice.

My brain becomes convinced of things that seemingly have no merit. It’s like it’s searching for things to be worried about. I’ll worry that my car has been stolen, that my mother is dead, my apartment is on fire, that my cat is sick and/or dead, something is going to happen that will need money in order to “fix” and I won’t have the funds, that I’m going to get fired, or that I have any/all types of cancer as well as any/all types of STDs, with a side of COVID, MS, Parkinson’s, heart disease, diabetes, etc.

Honestly, if I did models on every single thing that crosses my mind that makes me panic, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else. It’s certainly gotten worse with age. I go to a therapist, she doesn’t really do anything other than confirm “yep, that’s anxiety!”

How do I reign this in? I have a speculation that I’m thinking about something else that I’m not pinning down, and then my brain starts searching for problems that don’t have any basis.