I realized I have all these thoughts around marriage as I am getting married soon. My fear is that my marriage will turn out just like my parents which is interesting because they aren’t divorced, but they fight a lot. Here’s a model that came up recently:

C – Mom and dad in kitchen and dad says to mom “get your ass back in bed.” T – My parents marriage is terrible. (There’s more than one thought here – My marriage will be terrible because they aren’t a good example for me. My marriage will turn out just like my parents. All they do is fight all the time. Aaron better not ever treat me that way. My dad is a jerk to my mom). I know these all need to go into separate models as some aren’t exactly related to marriage either. But I guess I have one big thought that is If Aaron and I fight, our marriage won’t be any good because it means we don’t love each other. Which is crazy because I know in marriage there will be disagreements. Is there a way to see this differently? Possibly with – It’s possible that fighting in marriage is a sign of strong love. But then I ask is it even fighting? Maybe just disagreeing? Thanks!