Allowing urges – impossible goal 2019 (Nadège)

Dear Coach,
You were right about my indulging in confusion over the dishes: thinking that I was not the only one in charge of my action, thinking that somehow I couldn’t do what I wanted because my husband had his say in the matter did not help. Ever since, I’ve been washing the dishes right after our meals and it’s so fast that I’m not even noticing it! No more confusion, just action, and mine for that matter. Thanks!
I want to constrain my impossible goal to overeating and especially to allowing urges in 2019. I’ve already completed a 100 urges list in 2017 and I guess that when I was done, I thought I could go back to my old habits so it didn’t stick. But I see many advantages to my focusing on that goal for the next year:
– if I allow urges, I’ll get mastery over them
– I’ll learn how to feel any emotion in the process
– I’ll learn what thoughts cause my urges
– I’ll lose weight in the process
– I’ll feel so proud of my accomplishment
– I’ll learn how to do it forever – it will become part of my routine
However, here are a few questions:
1. what would a fail be in that case? Not allowing an urge and eating instead? Wouldn’t that be a quit if I don’t even try?
2. I was thinking of gradually following my protocol 100% from 20 days on protocol in January to 30 days in December. I like progression, I think it’s less scary but it’s also like going to the swimming pool when the water’s cold: I do it so progressively that I still feel cold, a lot, I’m not enjoying myself and I end up dreading it so I don’t go to the swimming pool. I guess my question behind this is the following: how do I separate my yearly goal of allowing urges into 4 quarters?
Thank you! Have a delightful day!