Applying the Model to Cs about others’ suffering


Hi, Brooke! First of all, I’m loving the Self Coaching Scholars program, and I’ve already gotten MASSIVE benefit out of it. Thank you!

Here’s where I’m still struggling with the Model: I’m getting pretty good at applying the Model around most types of circumstances (C), especially those that are closely related to my own life. However, when it comes to Cs that are waaaaay outside of my own personal realm, I have trouble building a Model around those. Some of my most uncomfortable, painful feelings are around thoughts that I have about circumstances related to others’ suffering (“others” can include people, animals, our planet, etc.). Seeing a disturbing headline (even if I don’t click through to read the actual story) can make me feel despondent for hours or days. My therapist has encouraged me to see this as a positive sign that I’m a sensitive, empathic person, which… OK, that’s fine and I can accept that as a beautiful thing. I’m at the point where I avoid the news and social media, and that helps some. Taking action (through volunteering for causes that I care about, and donating money to organizations that do work that I care about) helps a lot as well, but these feelings are still pervasive–even though I know that they serve no positive purpose whatsoever. I’m wondering if I just need to accept that I have these (sometimes devastating) thoughts and feelings about the world, its inhabitants, and the inevitability of human/animal/climate suffering. I suspect that I’m missing something big, but I’m too embroiled in this pattern to see it. Thank you so, so much!