I am dating for the first time in years and I realized I am resisting asking for what I want. A little event pointed this out, but I can see how this is an issue in my life and is an old belief that needs to change.
Specifically, BF asked what wine to bring to dinner, and I felt myself resist answering truthfully and felt inclined to say something like, ‘Whatever you drink is fine.’ (It’s not fine 🙂 ). I pushed through the resistance and asked him to bring my favorite, and he did.
I ran a model for the underlying belief that I can’t get my needs met. Would you or one of your team mind checking it for me?
T I can’t get my needs met, because if I ask for anything, they will leave.
F Sad, powerless, lonely.
A I don’t ask for what I REALLY want
R My needs/desires aren’t met
T BF wants to please me, and it is fair to tell him the truth about what I want
F Loved, cherished, respected
A I ask for what I want with confidence.
R I get what I want/need and BF gets to know the real me.