So I had what I had modeled to me and around me from others on relationships and attraction to others when you’re in partnership – etc…

Now – I get to choose etc.
i’m a monogamous person. I’m in partnership.
And I am really changing and evolving and had ahed a lot if old conditioning or what I made things mean  from 40 yrs –

Now I’m here — I find myself looking at men sometimes and see the attractiveness or beauty of their meatsuit – I guess my first phase was to really not want my partner to know that, and had a lot of fear or tangles of thinking if he did and tangles of what I would make that mean –

Now – its like well – I see the beauty in men & woman – with men at first I felt like I was doing something wrong –
Now – I’m like I don’t think I can do anything about finding them beautiful….

I think I can Not energetically engage in that energy towards them. – I might notice it and then that’s where it can end

But what if I’m friends w/ them or have to talk with them…. now what?

I guess there is fear that if my partner finds someone so beautiful then my brain makes it mean that he doesn’t see me as valuable or less beautiful……

And I’m concerned about spending time w/ men that are attractive as I do not want to even be crossing that kind energetically.

Please help me get this into a place I can work with it more or something? Lol