Feeling loved in relashionship

I find myself lately needing to get  love from my partner. I want him to do certain things so I feel good and loved. I have codependent history and I’ve recognized it. I would be finding the proves of him not loving me even if he treats me very well. I want to be hugged more, hear nicer things and etc

I understand that I need to ask myself how can I give myself what I need in the moment(and I did) . So I’ve been telling myself kind words. But I still struggle and get mad at him literally for no reason.

I want to be self sufficient and loving.
I want to be great with myself and not needy.

Please help me with how can I give love to myself in those moments.

I also know we can create the feeling of love right. How can I make myself feel loved on purpose?