When I think about how much effort I put into my relatioship, i realize I have stopped putting so much effort into it because, his busyness and unavailability feel rejecting, and for many years, maybe most of our 22 years of marriage, we have a dance. I want more intimacy, and he seems to think he needs little. It doesnt seem worth my effort anymore. When I effort and inevitably dont get the intimacy I desire, I feel more abandoned, more rejected, and lately it feels like its too long to be in this dead space, but I dont understand how I can break this cycle in this marriage on my own, or with a partner who doesnt have capacity?